How to “Speak Your Truth” Without the Drama
Posted in Uncategorized on May 7th, 2009 by Lynn – Be the first to comment
Lucy Always Speaks Her Truth
You know that we love drama here at Glitter & Razz. But, we also are well aware of the fact that too much drama in communication – especially when trying to get kids to do something they don’t want to do – is not helpful.
Yesterday, I attended the Professional Business Women of California’s 20th Anniversary Conference. One of the seminars I attended was led by Colette Carlson, an amazing motivational speaker and communication expert, who has a website called SpeakYourTruth.com that you have to check out.
She helps people find their assertive voices to get what they want out life. She definitely helped me. Here is one of the frameworks she shared with us for effective, assertive communication. Try it with one of the kids in your life to eliminate the drama and be clear about your needs.
D.E.A.L. | Describe. Express. Ask. Look for Agreement
Describe - What are the facts of the situation? – I see that you and your brother both want to play with that same toy.
Express - Share your feelings in a non-judgmental way using terms such as “concerns,” “puzzles” or “uncomfortable.” - It makes me uncomfortable to see the 2 of you so upset at each other.
Ask - Be clear about what you need. – So, what can we do so that you will stop arguing and get back to playing and having fun?
Look for Agreement - Get confirmation about what will happen next so that there are no loose ends. – Great idea! So let’s confirm. You will play with the toy for another 15 minutes and then your brother can play with it until it’s time for bed. Is that a deal?
Try it out and tell us how it goes.
